Originally published on Persephone Magazine. Please note: Fat sex is a very big issue heh. Because my area of expertise is limited to sex with size difference as a woman with a vagina, I chose not to explore other areas of fat sex, such as the mechanics of two fat people having sex or trans fat sex for women without vaginas. I welcome all here with that experience to speak up and contribute if they feel comfortable. Sometimes that made me feel more at ease, but mostly it became tedious, distracted me from feeling sexy, and annoyed the crap out of my partner who just wanted to see his hot girlfriend naked.
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Dating as a polyamorous woman brings with it a lifetime's worth of misconceptions and jealousies. Add a few extra layers of fat to that experience, and things can get depressing real fast. As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can't tell you how often I've been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I'm into what I'm into.
I feel frustrated by a theme that keeps coming up: Love yourself first and foremost and then love will be drawn into your life. I feel like I've tried everything, and it just doesn't seem to stick. Worse, I'm still dealing with the deep childhood imprinting of not being wanted or unconditionally love. I'd like some actual technical advice on this matter! Such a common challenge and I appreciate how frustrating it is when all you're offered are vague platitudes about self-love.